Let’s go through this list from worst to best. Just so I can finish a post on a positive note for once…
The Ugly: comes as no surprise, this would be the whenever a low moment hits us. I say us, because it hits us all. In different ways, but we all receive a significant blow each time. And recovery from each blow is different. In some way it has a cumulative effect. On one hand you get more and more numb when it happens. So the accumulative effect there helps with not getting caught up in the moment. Unfortunately that cumulative effect also means that now we are more and more sensitive to each and every little sign of a mood swing. We are all humans. Mood swings happen to everyone. But we are now on full alert when we see a sign of it on her. Is it nothing to worry about? Or is this the early sign of a low moment? Or a very low moment? Or a very-very low moment?
The Bad: she has so much potential! When she feels good, she is vibrant, she is funny, we can have deep conversations. Despite of her young age, she sees the world in such a unique way! And sees through a lot of the bullshit that happens out there. She is smart. A hard worker. When she is engaged in school work, her quality of work is excellent. She is a perfectionist. Unfortunately perfect is the enemy of done as I learnt at my yoga class. And in this case when things are not 100% perfect, she might miss out on some strong scores. Simple example: at school, she would not submit her work because it is not yet done to perfection. I saw her work. Let’s say 95% done and done really well. But it is not submitted. So instead of a 95%, she gets a 0%. And then it all snowballs from there. And of course there are non school work related examples as well. Very bad that I am failing to help her reaching her potential.
The Good: those stretches when she is at a good place. We are joking around. She is funny. We talk about all things in life. She is engaged. She is asking questions. We can ask questions without upsetting her. And she answers. With actual details, instead of a “yes”, “no”, “none of your business” or simply walking away. Those minutes, when we forgot about the problems. We can stay in the moment without any worry. Those are good. And lately I appreciate those more and more.