“I’m pretty tired. Think I’ll go home now.” said Forrest Gump. I feel the same. I feel pretty tired. Except I have nowhere to go.
Home? Not sure what it means right now. Not any more. I always considered home to be the place where no need to wear a mask. No need to be different. No need to act any way other than what comes natuaral. Yet I’ve been faking it for so long. For years. For decades.
Had a good run as the saying goes. Meaning that to some extent certain aspects worked. But I feel more and more that it was enough. Besides working hard on keeping the boat afloat, putting up with all the negativity, her discontent, the constant suppression, all the lies… I have no idea where I was going with this. And no idea where I am going right now.
No idea where I am going right now. No idea when I am going to get there. But based on how everything trends right now, it won’t be pretty. I need to rest. Before it all falls apart.