Nothing To See Here

It was a gorgeous sunny morning.

Then shortly after 7AM, she stormed through the kitchen, opened the sliding door, paused for a moment, her water bottle into the backyard, then slammed the door and left.

We had an 8AM driving instruction appointment…

At this point I wasn’t even sure if we were going to make it. Nevertheless, we got into the car. I was reminded a few times how terrible of a job I did picking such an early appointment. Never mind that we rescheduled due to her hospital stay. Plus with schedules filling up fast, it is not like we had a long list of options for weeks.

Then I was reminded how fucking slow that route that I picked was. Then she was crying.

By the time we made it to the appointment, I personally didn’t think she was in any shape to drive, let along being among other people.

I got out of the car. Talked to the lady and explained that she is not feeling well. The lady wanted to make sure she was not sick with Covid symptoms. As soon as I clarified that she was upset, she said in a very calm voice: “Well, let me talk to her. Today they will drive to the mountain. That will be fun.” I can honestly say the tone of her voice really calmed me down. Then she talked to her and they were off for a 2 hours long drive.

Hats off to that lady. Originally I planned finding a coffee shop for those two hours, put in a couple hours of work and maybe sample some locally brewed coffee and some fresh pastry. I was in no mood of that. I had my phone ringer on max volume, ready for a call from the instructor to come and pick her up. That call never came and they nicely rolled into the driving school’s parking lot two hours after the morning meltdown.

We drove home, my route selection skills again didn’t earn very many positive comments. Never mind that I picked a super scenic and shortest/fastest route home.

There is nothing like being dragged through some bad language fueled anger multiple times and feeling completely burnt out emotionally before 11AM on an otherwise gorgeous Friday.

After we got home, she casually went back to her room like nothing happened. And I spent the next few hours staring at the computer screen again. I couldn’t focus on work at all. Nothing. Just nothing. Emptiness.

Fast forward a few hours, in the afternoon she is all chatty, super nice, nicest teenager anyone would want.

As much as I tried to isolate the morning, it is getting harder and harder. I couldn’t. And with that emotional baggage I slowly rolled towards the weekend…